Legal Prankster Gifts

Lawyer Pranks: 'No, your honor. we have no idea why everyone would start leaving the courtroom all at the same time.'

"Police believe the gunman acted alone. True. My client's an actor and believed he was auditioning for a part."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

Why are you waving that big magnet over my hard drive?

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

King and Jester

Tonite: Gala Costume Party. Got your costume for the big party? No, I'll just part my hair on the other side and go as my own reflection.

"He belongs to a lawyer."

That isn't what prove you're not a robot means, Bob.

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

'Looks like someone got their bags mixed up at daycare drop-off.'

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

"You're young enough to play tag, but not old enough to borrow my phone to play phone tag."

'Waiter, there's a cell phone in my soup.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'Just give me the computer password, Marie. I won't put any more embarrassing pictures of you on Facebook.'

You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

Extremely Realistic Virtual Reality.

"Personally, I don't think the company's CEO and CFO should be making decisions by rock- paper-scissors!"

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

'I think the meeting went reasonably well until he threatened to call security.'

Another reason why a high school diploma is not enough.

'... and when the user's blood pressure goes over 100, the computer shuts down, the siren sounds, and the neon sign beings to flash!'

"The secret of time management? Never take anyone off hold."

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'