Legal Loophole Navigators T-Shirts

'Gee whiz, I don't know why I confessed to a crime I didn't commit. Maybe so I'd have an alibi for the one I did do.'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

"No offence Jon, but..."

'They've dealyed our IPO so long that we've gone from intending to open a chain of pre-schools to opening a chain of nursing homes.'

"I'm Mr. Trump's attorney and this is my attorney. Once his attorney arrives, we can begin."

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

"Generally accepted accounting practices weren't as generally accepted as I thought."

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

"He's not our founder. He just found us the most tax loopholes."

"It's what we agreed. I'd do the tax avoidance you'd do the tax evasion."

'My client is requesting a little more wiggle room,your Honor.'

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."

'Wait a minute! Our balance sheet is completely fictious, our profit is based on faked numbers and our register of companies entry is pure nonsense? In that case, they can't sue us for tax evasion because we don't exist!'

'I'm sorry, sir, but this particular loophole is only for the use of Federal employees.'

'Good thing your car was stationary when it hit me.'

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" "I can't respond to a hypothetical question."

'This is all very clever, Mr. Quigley, but there was a court ruling years ago that marriages can't be classified as non-profit organizations.'

Planning officer has a man in his in-tray: 'In order to speed up the system, I have my own personal member of the public to consult.'

Regulators claim practices are overloaded with patient surveys.

'We have special circumstances here Your Honor...Mr. Juttle committed the crime so he could get out of jury duty.'

'My lawyer says he's pretty sure this is police entrapment.'

"This business is completely customer focused, and we have the paperwork to prove it!"

IRS Auditing, 10 loopholes or less.

Tax Auditor door sign / Out to get you ? back in one hour.

"What this law firm needs is an app that can tweak the law in our favor."

'When a patient is clearly in need of personal care it's imperative that you call a care assistant urgently!'

"If the bastards are going to take away my non dom status I've a good mind to leave the country and go and not pay my taxes somewhere else!"

Check your phone. I just sent you an e-ticket.

"Burger King bought a Canadian donut chain and relocated its headquarters to Canada to skip U.S. taxes."

"Regardless of the question, bureaucracy is the answer."

"Instead of auditing you, I'd like to buy your tax secrets."

'Let's see... Ah! Here it is: 'Your policy does not cover floods,earthquakes or axe of god.' Sorry about that, Mr. Finkleman.'