Legal Eagle Parent Gifts

"Do you have any picture books that could help a child understand tort reform?"

'Sometimes I wish Daddy wasn't a bankruptcy lawyer. No matter what book he reads to me, he's only interested in chapter 11.'

"Have you ever heard about deferred prosecution agreements, Mommie?"

"Bullies don't bother me. I tell them my mom's a lawyer and they leave me alone."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Good boy."

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Neo-International Law

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

The Circular Logic of Fascism

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.