Legal Age Humor T-Shirts

'I don't like to carry ID.'

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

Baby's first words.

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"Date of birth?" "1989." "In 1989 I couldn't make ice... still can't." "Good lord, she could be my daughter! I'm so #!@* old." "That's the year my wife left me. Now I have a cold and I'm depressed!"

"I feel like a newborn. No hair, no teeth, no bladder control."

"What's your earliest memory, Sadie?" "You can not get under my skin, loser." "Maybe I can help you figure it out: were people wearing powdered wigs, or were they wearing togas?" "Did they live in primitive huts, or in trees?" "I'm not listening!" "Were they standing upright, or swimming in a primordial sea?" "You're about to be swimming in primordial soup."

"Let's face it,Rhoda-you're no spring chicken yourself!"

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

'As to bond - while I personally have faith in your client the court cannot ignore the obvious risk of flight.'

"Isn't Jim Carrey getting too old to make Jim Carrey movies?"

'I don't know which will come first.. retirement or draft?'

'Dang.'

'He was a product of his environment. He LIVED in a cooked house, he HAD a crooked wife.'

"But before we begin, this from legal, 'Be careful what you wish for.'"

'Face it, Frank - After 40 we all need glasses.'

Pregnant vs. Old.

"I'm sorry, but he only has 75 years to live!"

Warning: Quitting smoking now will greatly reduce your chances of getting a piece of the settlement pie.

Rodin's Generation Gap

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

'Uh oh! I don't like the looks of that jury.'

'Sure, I've had a few run-ins with the law. But it wasn't all my fault. As a child I was once left … unsupervised.'

'Aaaaaaaaaah forty seven. What a lovely age.'

"Well -- You're over 30 so you probably just slept on it wrong."