Leg Day Hero Gifts

'Have my leg exercises arrived yet?'

Police Feline Unit

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'The great thing about sloth is you can't be blackmailed for it.'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Zoo. It's wednesday again --- time to wash the camels. I hate "hump" day. (Published originally on July 20, 2005).

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

Easter Egg Delivery

'Ah, business as usual.'

Man standing in front of giant snowball

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

"I'd like to see him try that on the leg press."

'Boy, there are days I feel like doing even less than I usually do...'

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

"To cross street, push button, wait for walk signal, wait, wait some more."

'Lethargy is a sign of depression? No wonder we sloths have never gotten anywhere.'

Cat Desk Organizers: In, Out, Eat, Sleep.

Clancy: Hard Work Never Killed Anybody

"Well, sometimes I'll just hang around and do nothing. Oh wait, that's all the time."

'Don't just sit around all day. Go pollinate something?'

"You missed breakfast and lunch and haven't left your bed so it's not worth you getting up now. Good night!"

"They both like to have their stomachs scratched."

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

"Never skip other leg day."

"Well sports medicine isn't my speciality.. but at a guess I think you need to work more on your legs."

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

Still waiting for tape 2

"I'm so bored: All my parents ever do as a family activity is 'soaking up the sun'..."

'She's a lap cat.'

'I was sick and tired of weaving webs all the time: I buy fly paper now...'

'Catch you later.. I've got to get my 23 hours.'

"You shoveled the entire driveway? You know your father wanted to use his new snowblower! Go to your room!"

'Samaritans, mission control'

"It's just typical of you Norman - No ambition!"