Lecture Lollers Pillows

"I gave permission for you to Skype my class, not skip it."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Any questions?"

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

'And in conclusion.'

Lecture on Chaos Theory delayed because the speaker dropped his notes.

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

"I can't tel you what an honor it is to be the keynote speaker at the Supply Chain management Seminar."

Principles of Anaesthesia.

Pie chart of pub conversations

"No, Bobby, I won't put you on my do not call list."

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

Mentioning 'Sex'

"How can a student who can't speak English or Gobbledegook expect to pass?"

"Welcome to Truancy Prevention 101."

"My lecture is about our short attention spans and what a lovely day it is I should be walking but tomorrow maybe I’ll cut the grass..."

". . . and I wish he's shut up for a few minutes!"

"I enjoyed your speech. Although I was sorry to miss my children growing up."

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

'What does surrender mean?'

'Here's the problem, sir. This isn't blood in your veins. It's red ink.'

"As this shows, the key of good business strategy is simplicity."

The Collective Unconscious

"Oh, sorry. Wrong workshop."

'Sir, I was wondering if I could get an extension on my paper?'