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"Well, I better get going. I got a lecture to go to."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Any questions?"

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Changing Minds

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

'He was a great writer'

Tequila Mockingbird

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

'Look mum and dad! They let me keep my appendix!' - A young book excitedly showing off his appendix to his arriving parents.

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

"Caption contest"

Thomas Keneally

"The Cheshire Cactus"

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

Twice a year, Uncle Mort and Sadie Cohen have an official relationship talk. While this biannual conversation is scheduled by mutual consent under long-standing treaty, some participants engage grudgingly. Let's talk about our feelings. I don't feel like it. That's not a feeling, Snookums! Loophole!

'Big deal! -- anybody can build a prefab!'

"I have never ever heard Dante rhymed quite like that with ricochet before. Bravo Professor Firenze, you have moved our hearts!"

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

"I can't tel you what an honor it is to be the keynote speaker at the Supply Chain management Seminar."

Principles of Anaesthesia.

Ether Island

'Now that we've learned to talk, we can have FOCUS GROUPS!'

"Well that answers that question!"

Mentioning 'Sex'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

Ghosts from around the world

William Wordsworth

"I think you left something of your resumé... writer of fiction!"

Dad... this 'Book' thingy - where do you plug it in?