Leash Warden T-Shirts

'Outside, they let me off the leash only to fetch the paper. It's sort of a work-release program.'

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

"Don't even think about it."

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

"Humans are strange."

Dog with Anchor Lead

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

"You can stop now. The squirrels are gone."

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

'Master is too lazy to walk us, so we walk each other...'

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"Not really. I went on the green carpet just before we came out."

'Bad dog- I said WALKIES!'

"Is your dog friendly?!"

"See, I told you he didn't want to go out."

'Did you drop this £20 note, Sir?' 'Ooh, YES!' 'That will be a £50 fine.'

'No, we can't issue restraining orders to dogs.'

"Our new dog seems to be really, really shy!"

"My human can't tell which end is which."

"How does it feel to be a fink, Sparky?"

"Can i get a transfer from the porcupine enclosure..?

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."

DO NOT FEED BEARS: 'Is it okay if I just feed the bears grubs?'

"Using a female in hear helps to round up stray dogs!"

Forest Ranger enters forest via employee entrance.

"I don't use straws anymore. Straws are bad for the environment."

Dutch Boy With Finger In Dyke

'I always keep him on a leash when I take him for a walk...'

'So we meet again...'

Hang Time Fido