Leadership Development Buff Gifts

"I think the only thing we learnt from this 'leadership' course was delegation."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

CEO du Jour

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Well, I must say I never thought team-building exercises could be such fun.'

"Take us to your inclusive leader."

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

Dave realised that Clive didn't see problems,only 'challenges to be embraced'.

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"I make it a point to hire people smarter than me."

'Miss Ryder, I'm ready to start executing.'

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

"Does 14 followers on Twitter count as 'leadership experience'?"

"You look a lot better on paper than you do online."

The Genghis Khan School of Business Skills

Management self help books: "He's staring at me, do you think he's having some kind of seizure?" "Managing negotiations chapter 3, 'maintain eye contact whilst reinforcing image of strength and warmth'"

"Norman, leadership is about more than telling everyone to be more like you."

'...OK so you've got the herd mentality... now go out tere and be a herd... now move!'

"Until we know more about the nature of the threat, we should stay calm and wash out hands to keep it from spreading."

'It's true, nobody ever elected me C.E.O. However, I always just assumed I was.'

"The buck really stops with him."

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

"I'm worried about my leadership ability. None of the board members follow me on Twitter."

Sure, he can talk already, but it's all just psychobabble.

"Number four wasn't bad, at least he removed his personal CD earphones for most of the interview."

'We only have a few rules around here, but we really enforce them.'

"You like to take credit for other people's successes, and blame others for your mistakes. Woodly, you have management potential!"