Lazy Morning Fans Pillows

Teasmaid / Egg, saudage, beans and toast maid.

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Big Newspaper Delivery

Housewife: Out of Order.

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

'If I could go back to anywhere, it would be to my bed.'

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

"Mom's left her phone here. We'll have to walk to the kitchen to tell her to get us dinner."

Do it yourself - Get someone else to do it

'Darling, whip me something up in the kitchen.'

Girls in bed

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

'There's nothing on the telly!'

'OK, my dinner's in the oven. Where's the oven?'

"I'm not sure where Larry stands on the issues but I sure know where he sits!"

'Have a nice day, dear. . . no need to get up and make coffee.'

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, babe.'

"Rex hates getting up in the mornings."

Jed was a serious gamer...so on race days, he would always dress for speed!!

"Four out of five doctors recommend that you get up and get some exercise."

Another sound reason for sleeping late.

"So I start thinking...who needs to migrate north? I'm spending the summer down here!"

"Where can we get such a thing? We would lie on the couch all day and watch cartoons about cats."

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

American idle

'Call yourself domesticated!'

"So...what have you been doing for your last week of summer break?"

'I've decided to stay in bed till lunchtime to see if I feel like a teenager again.'

"See, you just turn it on and stand here and it slides you right to the shirt you want to wear."