Lazy Day Celebrant Gifts

"You're not totally useless around the house - you make a great appetite suppressant."

Police Feline Unit

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Lazy Octopus

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

Cat and mouse

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

A Golden Non-Retriever

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

Catatonic

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

"I'm thinking of starting my own range of 'inactive' wear."

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

Ultra-lazy sloth

'The great thing about sloth is you can't be blackmailed for it.'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.