Lazy Afternoon Connoisseur Gifts

"We're still moving in."

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Lazy Octopus

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

American Idle.

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

Cat and mouse

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"I'm not napping yet, but I am getting ready to with a pre-nap warm up."

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

Conservation Area

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

Catatonic

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'Can you mow the lawn? The kids can't find their trampoline.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

How the goat got square eyes.

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Dribbling and snoring - proof that men can multi-task.

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

Couch Potatoes

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

Inactive wear store.