Lawyer Pillows

"I see. And precisely what methods did you use to determine that my client was a 'bad boy'?"

"'Season's Greetings' looks O.K. to me. Let's run it by the legal department."

"It's a deal, but just to be on the safe side let's have our lawyers look at this handshake."

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

"Look, I'm not saying it's going to be today. But someday - someday - you guys will be happy that you've taken along a lawyer."

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse." "I didn't know that, either..."

"You have a pretty good case, Mr. Pitkin. How much justice can you afford?"

"I'll work on the appeal. You try to escape."

"Not guilty, because puppies do these things."

'No, I said 'paralegals'.'

"I understand you're some fancy pants lawyer."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

"You can't plead cute."

"What are you - some kind of justice freak?"

The night they invented champagne.

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

"I made partner!"

'Don't spread it around, but on the really tough ones, I just go with 'eenie, meenie, minie, moe.''

'This is not the kind of 'out of court settlement' I had in mind.'

"How did this case ever get so far?"

"Could my client be innocent? Probably not. My point is it's interesting to think about."

"I do corporate, divorce, and malpractice, but I'm most familiar with leash laws."

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

'This is your lucky day!'

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"Your Honor, the defense contends its client could never get a fair trial in this court."

"My client got twenty years, yet he paid me in full. It just shows the system works."

"Are you telling me that just because something is against the law, that makes it illegal?"

"It's what I do."

"The court is sorry that it raised its voice."

"Run it by legal." "Run it by accounting."

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"