Lawyer Enjoying Social Critique Pillows

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'He started it!'

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96."

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

"Of course, if you get your client off in the initial trial you're throwing away the appeal fee."

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'I wasn't expecting this when they said they wanted to settle out of court!!'

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

"Wait! First, his attorney."

The Sheepdog Trials

Jury Room

'Is your client qualified to give a urine sample.'

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

"So, I’d love for us to think of this as less of a trial and more of a curated trial experience."

"Your Honor, it was a lot for any jury to be expected to believe...but we fell for it."

"We would like to request a change of venue to an entirely different legal system."

"I can't sue my insurance company because it was an act of god? Well, then, can I sue my church?"

'Not guilty by reason of millions of years of evolutionary selection for aggressive behavior, Your Honor.'

'I'm not kidding....my client is really insane!'

'In accordance with the Patriot Act, we find the accused guilty of unspecified acts.'