Lawn Longisher Pillows

Yardless: Please help

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

Beginning Yarder.

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

"Must get a longer cable."

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

No Mow May

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

Beware of the Lawn

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

Robotic man mowing the lawn

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

"We're out of bags."

Human males marking territory.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

Gone to seed.

"I've found the lawnmower!"

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''

"I can't go on. All the weeding, mowing, digging, pesticides, and gopher holes really hurts you know. It's just not worth it anymore."

Rake

'You know it's too hot to use the sprinkler when the spray turns to steam.'

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."