Lawn Humorist T-Shirts

"Yes but what if you cut the grass and there isn't a nuclear war?"

Garden gnomes - one using weedkiller

"Ey up, guys! Here comes the slaughter mower - everyone Duck!"

Keep Off The Plastic Grass

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

Deer Season Open.

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

Try me/try me/try me...

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

I told you we were late!

"Get out of my face!"

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

Happy birthday Dung Beetle

"I'm fascinated by body language."

'Pray for me.'

"Did you just do a rooster?"

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"Static cling."

Slug Bait- snails love it

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"