Law Juggler T-Shirts

"These new regulations will fundamentally change the way we get around them."

Work/Life Balance

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

That party went well.

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

Stop and Birch

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

"I've given up trying to be on top of things."

The Communicator

Overworked

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

'You have an over reactive gagging reflex.'

If you're a multiple personality could you spare an identity for an amnesiac?

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

Children.

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"

"You need to put on some weight if you want to keep your job!"

A statue of Mercury is defaced with a purse, stockings, a bra and lipstick.

"I've learned to compartmentalize my stress."

'I told you it wouldn't work. You just can't predict what a jury is going to do.'

"As your attorney, Roger, I feel it's my duty to charge you an enormous amount of money."

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

"I never promised I would get you off. I alleged it."

"I don't like the looks of this! That's our jury consultant!"

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

'I don't understand why you don't want to take your daily medication.'

"Oh I never lose any sleep over my criminal cases. I figure that even if I lose, I'm not the one going to Jail!"

'I like my plea bargain better. I plead guilty and you dismiss the charges.'