Law Joke Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"Bailiff."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"We make crime pay."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

A baby in court

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

"At least he's honest about it..."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

'Judge Mental.'

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."

Mega Pharmaceuticals Legal Dept. What if we claim a generic knockoff of our miracle drug is blasphemous?

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"...And now show us what you said."

"Well the good news is that we came top in at least one category of the latest diversity tables..."

'Do you think I would even be here if my client were guilty?'

Corporate Lawyers

"Whereupon the defendant let out a very sharp, hard-edged laugh that fell to the floor and painfully injured the plaintiff's right foot!"

'First time I've seen a law degree with an expiration date.'

'Could you recommend a fruit that works for lawyers?'

'...And to spare my relatives the burden of inheritance taxes, I've decided not to give them anything.'

"Wait! First, his attorney."

"Certainly you're entitled to justice, if you can show that you deserve it."

"No, I'm not calling for order in the court. I'm tenderizing a porterhouse steak. Do continue, counselor."

"Twenty years? What ever happened to revolving-door justice?"