Law Enforcement Candid T-Shirts

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Meanwhile, in Florida: Little Free Library/Little Free Firearms

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

Totalitarian Humour

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"Careful! He knows computers."

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

'I hate frisking magicians!'

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

Family traits.

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

Scars and Bars

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

Old West Bounty Hunter.

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

Mobsters at the Beach

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

Atty.-Gen. Sessions reveals new law enforcement strategies to deal with opioid epidemic.

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

"Paper or plastic?"