Law And Safety Gifts

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

Trial by Media

Lynching on social media

The Anti-Agent

"Good boy."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"You're fired."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

Ban on Free Speech

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Neo-International Law

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"