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The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

Trial by Media

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'The highest court in the land.'

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

'Click it or ticket.'

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"No offence Jon, but..."

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

'I think we both know that's a decoy.'

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

'Dr. McWit, I'm going to have to cite you for violating the laws of gravity.'

Arrest of La Tuta

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

Bobsled Police.

'We struck these tax laws, but they somehow spontaneously regenerated into line 501(c), section 746-e, subsection (3), as described in paragraph (2).'

"It's been in self-drive mode all morning, maybe it's not programmed to recognise stop signs?"

'Okay, just be patient -- it could be months before they learn to obey all of these.'

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

'You have the right to remain silent...'

'Sure, I did all that stuff once, but this is the NEW me.'

"If you can prove my innocence to the court, I'll give you half of my cut, from the bank job."

"We're all metric now..."