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The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

Trial by Media

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

Los Angeles' New Smart Meters

'The highest court in the land.'

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

'Click it or ticket.'

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"No offence Jon, but..."

'I think we both know that's a decoy.'

'Dr. McWit, I'm going to have to cite you for violating the laws of gravity.'

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

Arrest of La Tuta

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

Bobsled Police.

'Okay, just be patient -- it could be months before they learn to obey all of these.'

Corruption Contest

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

'We struck these tax laws, but they somehow spontaneously regenerated into line 501(c), section 746-e, subsection (3), as described in paragraph (2).'

"It's been in self-drive mode all morning, maybe it's not programmed to recognise stop signs?"

'You have the right to remain silent...'

"There! Caught another idiot using his phone whilst driving."

"We're all metric now..."

Containment Cops

'Sure, I did all that stuff once, but this is the NEW me.'