
"I'm removing the liver.. No, the kidneys... Presure, pressure, what's that blobby thing?"
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"I'm removing the liver.. No, the kidneys... Presure, pressure, what's that blobby thing?"
"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."
Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.
'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'
'What's holding him up?'
Surgeon carving a chicken/turkey.
'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'
'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'
'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'
'Who's ready for laughter-- the best medicine?!!!'
Doctor Flattened By The ER Rush
Clive Anderson
Celebration in operating theatre.
'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'
'It's just a precaution, the anesthetist can't find his wedding ring.'
"Why am I a nurse? In my former lives I was a mind-reader, a juggler and a scribe."
"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."
"Sorry, I spaced out. What were you saying about your life threatening emergency?"
"I just had these linen scrubs dry-cleaned!"
"This cabernet sauvignon will have you feeling more like yourself in no time."
"It's cooties."
"Ok, first off... ever have one of those days when you just can't seem to do anything right?"
"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"
'Will you stop saying 'try not to get blood all over everything!'.'
'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'
'When the aliens abducted and probed me, they said I was fine. But I'd like a second opinion.'
"Doctor - can I administer my own anaesthetic?"
"Sorry, I had the hiccups."
Dog.
'I'm past the liver, and there's the inflamed gallbladder. ... OK, switch us back to the game...'
"Please excuse him...interns always worry patients don't think they're real doctors!"
'Here's your new diet.' - 'A stick of celery?' - 'Lick it once at breakfast, once at lunchtime.' - 'And then eat it for dinner, right?' - 'Not until Week 6' - 'Gah.'
'The Not so Great Escape.'
Surgery.
'Let me guess...it's contagious!'
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