Laugh Seeking Pundit T-Shirts

'You're going to need a bigger net.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"That'll be five bucks."

"Take two pies to the face and call me in the morning."

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

"So, is there any other funny business to attend to?"

King and Jester

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

'I see we've got some techies in tonight.'

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

"Hmm, well, I wouldn't worry too much. This condition is very common in your profession."

"...dry your eyes, m'boy, and always remember: Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, and the world laughs AT you."

'A friendly reminder, Mr. Parker: There's only room for one long, raucous, 'what-a-stupid-question' laugh in this company, and it's not yours.'

'What have I told you about laughing on purpose, Mother?'

"I finished my act. Could you come over and give me a hand?"

'That's odd. For most people, getting a pet helps lower blood pressure.'

'You are here' T-shirt,

New Jersey Cops Gone Wild

'Oh dear, it looks like the men have been talking about work again.'

Laugh break

Cracked Quacks Strip: Cosmetic surgeon mix up.

Kid has pot stuck on his head.

"All her other suitors could sing and dance of course, but Mummy chose me because I made her laugh as well..."

Marty Feldman

"Open mike night"

Bucky's dream of becoming a stand-up comedian ended abruptly the very first time he stepped into the spotlight.

'Did you or did you not make my client laugh so hard that milk came out his nose, causing the kids at his cafeteria table to laugh at him?'

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

Ross Noble

'Sir, making mistakes is a craft, but making things up the way we do is art.'