Late-night Comedians T-Shirts

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

'-and to all you night owls out there...'

Occu-Pie Mars

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

'Very funny!'

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

'Mr. Whipple, what other qualifications do you have - apart from your quite excellent Donald Duck impression?'

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

An early turning-point in old Hollywood...

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

"Mind if I read a little?"

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd played catch with me more.'

"You're hired! We need someone like you to encourage humor in the workplace."

"We've been married 32 years. How can you possibly still be in beta?"

Research indicates seven deadly sins are treatable with drugs,

"I don't even know when late night begins anymore."

Man on desert island under expired parking meter, meter maid in boat approaches.

Certificate in Living Room Celebrating Three Days Without Argument

"You have your emotional support animal and I have mine."