Late Motherhood Pillows

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

"He's such a fussy eater."

Whoa

Mother Nature

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

Downloading Pregnancy

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

I love my family!

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

Men explained.

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'They sure have small litters.'

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

Mother's Love

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

Mum and the Sleepless Baby