Last-minute Sprinter Pillows

"Shoot. I'm gonna be late to class again."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

'We are in a race against time and the auditors. Gentlemen...start your shredders!'

'Whenever he stares out the window like that I know he's about to go into a gardening frenzy.'

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

Runner's High, Runner's Low

He won't stop talking about being the fastest ever. He's a broken record about breaking a record.

Hot dog.

Adrenaline is flowing down there with lots of last-minute, panicked Christmas shoppers! The DNA is frantically looking for heirlooms that'll be passed on in succeeding generations. It seems no price is too high for the helium atom - it's buying everything! Meanwhile, the neutron can't charge and hasn't been able to buy a single gift! Tempers are getting short! A big nerve angered other shoppers by blatantly cutting in the checkout line! And there's a quarrel over a parking spot with a whit

“I’m not out of shape — I’m just not used to running so much.”

"Zero to 60 in 4 seconds. Think of it! You'll be the fastest guy to the next red light!"

'The publisher wants to know how the article on the booming economy is coming along.'

Time Run

Cheetah in at the start of a race, thinking: 'Why do I have to keep proving myself?'

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

"When it came to running, Kevin was second to none."

Man watching a flower slowly wilt, and just as its about to die he waters it

'Spinout!'

Last-Minute Gifts

'No thanks: I'm more of a sprinter than a jogger...'

'Wow! That was fast, I only yelled 'Dinner' once!'

Little girl running alongside athlete asking for autograph.

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

Runners have a pay toll.

'I can't find my keys!'

Do you have to do everything at the last minute?

Huge, steroid taking sprinter.

"Talk about pressure, they've already purchased the 'new & improved' labels."

Christmas is Around the corner,

'Note to myself: Next time I'm wide awake half the night, just get up, DO NOT fall asleep 10 minutes before the alarm goes off!'

"Better late than never, eh, Herb?"

'She's in training for the Olympics. The 100 metre sprint to the checkout.'

'D'you want to see me run the 100 metres? ...D'you want to see it again?'

"Pipped for 3rd place - weighed down by those eyelashes."