Last-minute Miracle Seeker T-Shirts

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

Fishing with God

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"I was able to consolidate all your prescriptions into a single pill."

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

'You'll be spending a little time in pilates purgatory but don't worry, those guys work miracles.'

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

Emma is very happy that the doctor will finally remove the growth on Daddy's nose but she's also a little sad to see it go...

"It's the first week of school and already I have a 10-page report due tomorrow!"

'Well I think it's worth a try!'

'Hard to say how your husband is at this point. We should know more once the bandages come off.'

'And now the anti-aging pill is in the market - tough luck, my dear!'

'You'll find loaves in the pantry and fishes in the freezer.'

"You didn't post anything on social media today. So, the church sent someone over to witness miracle."

Procrastinator's Leap.

'I can only describe it as one of those symptoms that goes away whenever I see a doctor.'

'I've done everything that medical science can do...now I suggest you sacrifice a goat to Nagoomba.'

'I love my obstetrician! He brings out the kid in me!'

Advertisements for 'Brother Marsh- faith healer and Deacon 'Speed' Alton- emergency room'.

Man watching a flower slowly wilt, and just as its about to die he waters it

"Hey, I'm just happy the transplant worked at all."

Doctor to patient: 'Nah - you don't need to make a hospital appointment. I can do this procedure with a laser pen.'

"Shoot. I'm gonna be late to class again."

"Thank you, sir."

Last-Minute Gifts

'OK, you're all set. That stent in your artery will get you through the second half, but I'll need to open you back up after the game.'

'I'll have you out of bed and on your foot in no time.'

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

The singular joy of living with a person who routinely glimpses the miraculous in the mundane.

It's THE miracle pill

"He's one tough cookie. I've never seen anyone bounce back from an autopsy before."