Large Animal Practitioner T-Shirts

'Oh! So you're a large animal practitioner. We'll, you're going to LOVE this!'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

'I guess you might call it a sort of penicillin reaction.'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

An inbred poodle.

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

Committee On Feline Healthcare

'Animal Psychiatrist' (a dog).

'I'm sure he thinks he's a parrot!'

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

'I don't think the Doctor will be able to see any more patients today!'

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

'His jaw got stuck when he tried to fetch the Sunday paper!'

"May I keep my collar on?"

'Now tell me about your puppyhood.'

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

Balding dog

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

'I had my vet put down. He was over 23!'

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

'Look, when you made an appointment for me to treat a rattlesnake bite,...

'The increasing popularity of the Saint Bernard...'

"In my practice, I prefer to treat the whole hog."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'Bless you!'

Vet checks fish's heartbeat with a stethoscope through fish bowl.