Language Use Prints

"Jill's right. 'We offer a challenging work environment' sounds better than 'Welcome to the salt mines.'"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Torturing the English Language

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

Punctuation Police

Backfire

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

What's normal?

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'