Language Nuances Pillows

"You're taking things too literally when I say leave everything in the ring."

A Puppet Named Juan

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

I will study my speling words...

Torturing the English Language

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Thru versus Through Traffic

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Punctuation Police

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Backfire

Someone who knows apostrophes

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

What's normal?

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"