Language Nut Pillows

The importance of having your Is tested.

A Puppet Named Juan

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

'My feet are killing me.'

I will study my speling words...

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Backfire

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Punctuation Police

A Copy Editor and His Dog