Language Ninja Pillows

I just invented the past tense and the present tense! Oh, did you, now?

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

Piano Keyboard

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Turtling: When a child's backpack exceeds his weight"

Building business relations.

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

Good Luck!

Freedom of the press

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

'Send in the next applicant Ms Jones.'

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

Book Thief in True Crime Department

"We need a better piling system."

'Gimme all your cache!'

Fenton always makes a backup hard copy of his mental notes.

"This position requires someone with a thick skin... Well, do you think you're up to the job, big nose?"

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

Meet the People of the Internet

Flute-a-licious.

"Mr. Kennings was going to interview you for the job, until he heard you actually wanted to get paid."

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Better than Chekhov"

"Is there a geek of any kind in the house?"

Sell the crunch, not the apple!

Complaining about poor grammar

"I've got three michelin stars, two for cookery and one for turning up to the interview!"

'No, I won't show you where the self-help books are!'