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A Parrot Repeats His Owner's Curses For A Baseball Team

Football Chameleon

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

"So, have you two fallen out again?"

"It's not so much the chewing that offends me, it's the mocking of our voices."

'Now that we've learned to talk, we can have FOCUS GROUPS!'

"Well that answers that question!"

Quiet Quitting

"They've been walking like this since they watched that documentary on elephants."

Brothers Grimm

Gee, this is my lucky night. You see, when it comes to women, I'm not a leg man; I'm not a breast man; I'm a punctuation man. ! !

"He does impressions too!"

'You must be the angel of the north.'

Cow can

"I know it's a foreign book...but I'm reading it with a local accent."

"And, of course, I want to thank all the little people!"

"I'm afraid I have to trim your wages."

"I'll be glad when this speech balloon strike is over...!"

Hart Warming

'Well, yes, the fine print is in Arabic, but it's a wonderful language.'

'Excuse me, is anyone using this stool?'

Happy as a clam

"When I say 'tweet' you say 'tweet'...'tweet!'"

'This one was hatched within the sound of Bow bells.'

He's got a gun!

'Harry has laryngitis.'

'He's a sheep dog.'

Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. I couldn't if I wanted to.

"Woof, woof!"

The Ventriloquist's Arms

"He has a wonderful command of the language, doesn't he?"

'What about cursive?'

What're you doing? Shush. My homework. I'm studying Sean Hannity transcripts. I've got to understand how he can get so angry all the time. Every sentence is a brutal attack. It's awesome. Listening to his disgust is like listening to Mozart or Dylan. It's so pure. So right. Where to begin with what's wrong here. I'd love to hear Dylan sing a Hannity medley.