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"We got a call about a consultant."

'Merle, do you think we sound stupid when we say 'aaargh'? I mean, it's not really a word, is it?'

"I'm sorry, dear. I wasn't listening. Could you repeat what you've said since we've been married?"

"Hang on...We must be doing something wrong...How does that saying go again?"

"And remember, if you need anything I'm available 24/6."

"Are we speaking to Mr Duck or Mr Rabbit?"

'Yes, a winky face is correct... But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices known as 'complete sentences.''

"I don't like large groups. I can never remember what our plural is."

M-Day

"Actually, it's pronounced 'An-hel'."

Gramma Police: 'Will work four food.'

Corrective Lens

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"No, not Yale. A fork in the road."

'I like it. It's catchy and easy to remember.'

A skip full of fools.

"But I hate su casa."

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

"I found a misused apostrophe in one of your entrees."

Sock Drawer

Fist bumps in other languages

'...how are you ever going to text.'

The Berlitz Guide to Parent-Teacher Conferences

'The Doctor will see you now. Here's your medical jargon dictionary.'

"What can I say? I was an English major."

Grammarian.

'Who.' 'Who.' 'Who.' 'Or is it whom?'

'Are you the new English teacher?' 'Yes I are!'

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

Someone who knows apostrophes

Semantics - A classroom in which meanings are discussed (Actually, this is just a door. The classroom is on the other side of the door.)

"We'll start out by speaking in simple declarative sentences."

'Think of an essay as a collection of tweets only joined together.'

'I can't believe I went out with an apostrophe. He was so possessive.'

'Go ahead, speak some legal lingo. I want to try out this translation app.'