Language Detective Pillows

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

'I feel like an idiot when I hear these economic experts talking...'

'I'm afraid he has sweeny flu.'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

What's normal?

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"It's not fair! I only got 100 on my English test!"

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

Sign that says 'This is not a sign.'

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

"Look, look … someone wrote unoperable."

Famous Oxymorons...

Scouse For Beginners

These young people need everything spelled out to them! I miss the old days, when a wink was a wink, and a nod was a nod.

"Why do they keep all these words in the dictionary? I mean, who's going to look up 'dog'?"

Man sees book flying in the Mystery section.

Beware of Doug

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

"I detect an accent – money?"

"My conclusion that he lied was based on his body language, his polygraph results, and the complete implausibility of his story."

"I can't believe this! All these filthy messages on your cell phone! And so many of them! What is it? 100? 500? 1,000?"

"Your body language says you've lost interest."

"My English teacher says there are many ways to solve a problem...my math teacher says there is one."

"I don't speak Italian."

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.

Exclamation Marks chasing the Question Mark.

Phonetic Man

The Tangents talk it over.

"I now we always fly straight, but I was just wondering how far it would be if we drove."