Language Day Gifts

''How my year as an exchange student totally rocked thanks to my awesome pal Timmy Lowell' by Vladimir Brezskinov, translated from Russian by Timmy Lowell.'

A Puppet Named Juan

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

I will study my speling words...

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Backfire

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Punctuation Police

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

Someone who knows apostrophes

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

What's normal?

"Damn - another letter to the editor."