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Artist Hazards

The Busy Gardener

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Painting clouds

Doing the borders.

(Camel paintings)

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

The Adventures of God

Hither and Yon sign

Motor Tourism

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

An alleyway leads to a scenic area.

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

Nature Lovers

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

"Set already!"

Rating the Sunset

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

"Oh no, it's Flash Garden!"

Watering the garden gnome

"Hmmm...I wonder what the artist is trying to say...?"

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

"Someday, all this will be infrastructure."

If this is how 3-year-olds see the world, it's no wonder they're always crying."

"Now that's what I call a high definition display.".

Gwendolyn found herself deep in the Lake district,

'...We go away for a long weekend - we get back and the garden's gone wild.'

J. M. W. Turner

'It's just a calendar, who cares what it looks like?'

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."