Lakeside Humorist Pillows

'Dewey! You getting any strikes?'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Lady to angler whose line is snagged: 'You would manage to get your line caught in the one tree in this entire massive lake.'

'...the really big ones can be found.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

Scene on the English coast.

'It must be a milkfish.'

"Tony and Stephanie are from Iowa."

'Which end's the shallow end?'

"Is that true love or what? My masters are vegetarians, but they still buy me juicy bones..."

Making Things Pleasant.

Tentacle attacking diver.

The vacation rental agency is saying technically that's a "lap pool," so we can't get our money back.

No petting in the pool!

Overnight Programming

Skating by torchlight on the Serpentine.

"Oh, are you attacking from home today?"

'Aren't you supposed to drop the clam on the rock?'

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

'Ha! Fake out!'

"...You shouldn't by any chance be missing one of your animals?"

'Don't press so hard, I almost drowned back there!'

Witch steals a traffic man's Go sign.

'Old fart and the sea'

'Which is the deep end?'

'I'll trade you three eight-inch shiners for that 24-inch bass.'

'The double codpiece and chips is very popular with the Blackpool crowd, your highness.'

'The gannets are worse than the gulls!'

"Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing!"

'Is that a thong or is your rear end devouring your swimsuit?'