Laid-back Parent Pillows

Half-A**ed Publishing Presents...

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

Zen and the Art of Procrastination.

Husband and Child in Pram

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

'You can stop looking-I just remembered I didn't wear my retainer today. Funny, huh?'

"Ain't worth the whiskey!"

Another great new year's eve! We're not doing anything, Ames. That's what's so good about it. The Dixons asked us over for a Quaker new year. They pop the bottles at 9 p.m. I guess

"Don't you just want to stop and eat the flowers sometimes?"

"What are we doing today?"

'Tell dad he did a lousy paint job.'

"When you called yourself a playboy...."

"Sloth!"

Totally Relaxed Fit Jeans

'The electric fence is a godsend.'

Ned Thompson, unpretentious wine taster.

Customer Relationship Management at Surf City Hospital

"I told you I wouldn't forget our anniversary, darling."

"Don’t tell Mommy, but it’s OK to use swear words during the playoffs."

'A-D-D...are these your grades or your diagnosis?'

'I've got the children busy finding a solution to the Middle East crisis...'

"Of course the best way to lay compost is to get someone else to do it..."

'Going with the flow isn't much of a philosophy, but it's all I have.'

"Where was I? I was either away from my desk or in a meeting."

"Look on the bright side. If I'm out of work, can't get sacked!"

"Worm, how do you stay so humble and calm?"

'For Dad, it's a belly-top.'

Couch potato with tator tots.

'Completely unacceptable. I don't know how any son of mine could… Oh. OK, I see you even failed the DNA test.'

"Finger painting, alphabet, numbers, noisy bus ride home...better make it a chocolate."

Child watering the flowers (urinating).

"This is the life, eh?"

"Well it's not a spider wriggling and tiggling inside you."

"The early retirement was surprising, but he reached his level of incompetance much sooner than expected."