Lactose Free Foodie Pillows

'I used to have milk in my tea. . .but then one day I had black tea and somebody tole me that 'once you've had black, you never go back.' I don't know why you never go back, but it turned out I'm lactose intolerant, so it's a moot point now. I guess.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"I'm pretty lucky. I have a wife that tolerates both my lactose and bad habits."

"And for all you people with food allergies, this next song's lyrics contain no gluten or peanuts."

'I've never heard of a lactose intolerant cow!'

'I always shop here. They don't sell low fat ice cream so the guilt is gone.'

"Actually, lactose is the only thing Herb isn't intolerant of."

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

"Is this house gluten-free?"

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

'Would you like to eat in the restaurant or dine outside on our Wasp-atorium?'

Witch making a brew with Gluten, Nuts, Trans Fats, BGH, GMOs...

'If you feel guilty, I can put our high fat vanilla ice cream in one of our low fat cups.'

'Is the homework gluten free?'

'After 25 years of research we've concluded that you should just eat, drink and be merry.'

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

Mouse, caught in trap after attempting to get cheese, says: 'That's it ??" I'm quitting dairy.'

"Y' know, a GOOD host would provide a lactose-free option!"

"Wait! Is it gluten-free?"

The Passover Police

"She's diversifying her portfolio."

"Yeah, and what's it to you if I am gluten free?"

"That doesn't make any sense - The Milky Way shouldn't affect your lactose-intolerance."

"And I told them not to use lactose for the last supper..."

New Milks

First Church of Gluten-Free Communion Wafers.

'I'm lactose intolerant, gluten intolerant, vegan and allergic to tomatoes...what have you got that's good?'

Gluten-free area.

"I'd like to try something different- something that takes a lot of guts to eat."