Laboratory Work Pillows

'My research cover two fields: the behavior of matter under high pressure, and the behavior of scientists under high pressure.'

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

"Well, it certainly looks like your DNA. How many times have I told you to wear gloves before touching anything?"

'Of course it's impossible. That's why we're here.'

'They hate it when you carry the test tubes that way.'

'I find it harder and harder to get any work done with all the ethicists hanging around.'

Control and Out of Control Group

"Some genetic engineers we turned out to be!"

Bacterial Culture

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

Scientists discover a new Superbug

"Oops!" "Never say that in a DNA lab!"

"Well, there's another four million dollars down the drain."

Cultured Cells/Uncultured Cells

"The resolution is superb, but I can't stand having to wait through all the ads first."

"You're research is very promising. It's just a shame you're afraid of mice"

'All our laboratories are ergonomically designed.'

'Oh, I dunno. hat would you like to evolve into?'

"The great thing about studying tiny things is that no one knows what the hell you're doing."

"You work in a lab! So you're some kind of scientist?"

"I thought it was all sciencespeak, but it turns out bespeak is nothing like chemspeak."

Cloning Laboratory: 'I never thought I'd work here.'

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

"Obviously somebody contaminated the sample, Kevin."

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

Clone Research and Development, "Psst- rumour has it the boss is a self-made man."

"Our research is solidified, but our funding has vaporized."

'Common cold? We thought you said 'caramel corn!''

'Ed's in medical research.'

'You've got to buy a centrifuge for these hematocrits, Doctor!...

'I was just checking your records, Kleinzweck, and you have a Ph.D.. in pseudoscience!'

"Oh, quit your sulking, Prescott...you can be the head in the jar next week!"

"Ever killed a man?"

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"Labor Shortage? Why don't we just clone our employees"