Laboratory Research Pillows

'Good to have you with us, Farquhar. We could do with some fresh blood in this place.'

Scientist with 'bingo' out tray (which is empty).

'We're in luck. The new virus is highly contagious...and so is the antibody.'

"I could use some of those animal rights activists about now."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I'm going to get you fired."

"I am not asking for directions."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

'I don't KNOW what I'm doing -- this is pure research!'

'Catch this!'

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

"Oh, oh - it's getting into organic."

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

'I'm inventing an acid that eats through anything.'

"Hey, at least you got a severance package."

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

'ADN'