Laboratory Work T-Shirts

'My research cover two fields: the behavior of matter under high pressure, and the behavior of scientists under high pressure.'

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

"Well, it certainly looks like your DNA. How many times have I told you to wear gloves before touching anything?"

'Of course it's impossible. That's why we're here.'

'They hate it when you carry the test tubes that way.'

'I find it harder and harder to get any work done with all the ethicists hanging around.'

Control and Out of Control Group

"Some genetic engineers we turned out to be!"

Bacterial Culture

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

"Oops!" "Never say that in a DNA lab!"

Scientists discover a new Superbug

'Oh, I dunno. hat would you like to evolve into?'

"Well, there's another four million dollars down the drain."

'All our laboratories are ergonomically designed.'

Cultured Cells/Uncultured Cells

"The resolution is superb, but I can't stand having to wait through all the ads first."

"You're research is very promising. It's just a shame you're afraid of mice"

"I thought it was all sciencespeak, but it turns out bespeak is nothing like chemspeak."

Cloning Laboratory: 'I never thought I'd work here.'

"The great thing about studying tiny things is that no one knows what the hell you're doing."

"Obviously somebody contaminated the sample, Kevin."

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

"You work in a lab! So you're some kind of scientist?"

'You've got to buy a centrifuge for these hematocrits, Doctor!...

Dr. Darrin found her peer review process unnerving.

Clone Research and Development, "Psst- rumour has it the boss is a self-made man."

"Our research is solidified, but our funding has vaporized."

'Ed's in medical research.'

"Ever killed a man?"

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'I was just checking your records, Kleinzweck, and you have a Ph.D.. in pseudoscience!'

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

'Common cold? We thought you said 'caramel corn!''

'You can't come into the clean room looking like that.'