Lab Coat Aspirant Pillows

'I don't know what happened! All I did was say I went into medicine for the money!'

Scientists are sexy

'As everyone knows, scientists are at their peaks early in their careers.'

'If we were in the Renaissance, we'd be painting nativity scenes right now.'

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

Plasma Ball

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

'Quickly boy, tell me which test tube you drank from?!'

Plasma Ball

"They're harmless when they're alone, but get a bunch of them together with a research grant and watch out."

"Although your discovery is very important, the consensus is that your article about it lacked suspense, and was completely devoid of humor."

"Maybe we should have tried it on the rats first."

Ann was shocked and awed when the General kissed her after her presentation and she wondered if he'd heard a word she'd said.

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

Identifying Scientists by their Lab Coats.

Successful Baseball Teams Rely on a Good Pharm System.

The mazes were too easy, so now they have me running through bureaucracies and looking for grants. (Originally published on 2007-10-18).

Animal Engineering Lab.

"If my calculations are correct, we'll finally have the answer to looking cute in the winter!"

"Great. First our funding ran out, now the rat."

"I just love the reactions I get every day when I come to work."

"Okay, I'm not the fastest gun in the west. . . but I am the fastest gun in my immediate family!"

Under strict laboratory conditions extensive research proves that, despite being watched, pots do eventually boil.

'The results are far from conclusive, but it does cause cancer in humans.'

Genetic Engineering 'N Things

'If we could just add one more gene to make the skeptical customer trust us.'

'Report cards, folks - and they have to be signed by your high school chemistry teachers.'

'I'm testing whether the little blue pill. Will speed up the reproduction process of these organisms.'

"You've just proven that your job doesn't exist."

"...then - and here's the funny part - I add the potassium sulfate..."

It's my latest recombinant DNA project. Are you a man or a mouse?

Recombinant DNA Lab.

'I feel much better. I think the cheese treatments must be working.'

'Just as I thought...made in Alaska!'