Kwanzaa Gifts

Happy everything to everybody.

'I thought it was special every year.' (Guy looking at Kwanzaa Holiday Special display in window)

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

'My electric car is giving me static!'

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

Watch the skies: UFO buffs all stare at the sky, yet alien is amongst them.

Nails pinning down the hammer that usually strikes them.

Cosmonaut

The Big Tipper

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

"Siri, find oxygen."

Leaving a Real Impression: That's one small step for (a) man, one giant leap for mankind.

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

Paw readings

"Let's f**k up Mars!"

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

'It's called a telescope son. It's sort of like a low-tech search engine.'

There are dreams...And then there's reality...

High Five

"A study finds that there are billions of earth-like planets in our galaxy."

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

Industrial Beautification van

'IQ shortage, help wanted.'

Prepare Enter The Wormhole!

'Do you have to yell 'far out!' every time you see something new?'

"Tesla's founder Elon Musk launched his spacex rocket today with a successful pinpoint return to earth. . . General motors said it would rebuild its plant and start again from scratch."

We've been coming here for decades, but I still don't understand their idea that the richest person is the one with the most money.

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

Guitar Hero.

"10 - 9 - 8 - 7 — Get your finger out of my ear! Buzz, go sit down. Now I lost count. Re-starting countdown: 100 - 99 - 98 — Buzz, I swear to god..."

'There's been a change in my recurring nightmare. I'm no longer falling . . . my credit rating is.'

"The voices in my head want to sing on 'American Idol.'"

I've been having very strange dreams lately, but they're no match for how bizarre waking hours life has seemed.