Knitting Humorists Gifts

A sheep wearing a zip-up cardigan

"It was better before God took up knitting."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

Rude Snowpeople

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

The Dandy

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

I'm sure it's fake.

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

Flight Socks.

"I found an old photo of us, when we were punk rockers... Didn't we look ridiculous?"

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

Cat scares away fish design on man's shirt.

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

'You'll grow into it!'

Newton discovers surrealism

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

Lie detector, "It's a goddam liar bird all right."

"I'm thinking of waxing my back."

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

Where Pleather Comes From

"...now she's up tp a jumper a week."

'Let's face it, we're not meant to wear hats...'

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

'My tux is at the cleaners.'

'It all started when she started playing with the ball of yarn.'

'This is a first Mr Cowbird. You've contracted mad cow disase and the bird flu!'