Kitty Humorist T-Shirts

'Lingerie works, but I usually lure Doug to the bedroom with a laser pointer.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"Yes, one is a dog."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

'Jurassic Pork.'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Scuba cow"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Glance Exchange

Cat Reunion

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"