Kitsch Lover Pillows

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

At the 'Museum of Tacky Art: Velvet Paintings, 1st Floor, Sad-Eyed Dogs 2nd Flour, Souvenir Figurines, 3rd Floor.'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'It's a Joan Biro.'

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Beware of the frog"

Large, wrinkly

The Digital Family

'Och lye the news'

Yoko Ono

Egyptian Football

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

Quentin Tarantino

Marmalade with a snorkel in flamingos.

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

"I'd say business was brisk."

Fly Artist

"Think of it as one less thing to worry about."

Flosshilde- Intended for 'Das Rheingold'

"Have you give any thought to my suggestion about a sculpture that's just a chubby kid constantly peeing."

A fish swimming with an umbrella.

allovertheplace.com

The Scottish Lawn

"Just pick some. No one expects a postcard to reflect your personal aesthetic."

"Great tights!"

When lice dream.

Elephant and Castle

"I'm too old for a baby-sitter. How about hanging a portrait with the eyes that always seem to look at you?"