Kitsch Lover Pillows

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

At the 'Museum of Tacky Art: Velvet Paintings, 1st Floor, Sad-Eyed Dogs 2nd Flour, Souvenir Figurines, 3rd Floor.'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

The Digital Family

"Beware of the frog"

Large, wrinkly

'Och lye the news'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

Egyptian Football

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

"I'd say business was brisk."

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Fly Artist

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

Marmalade with a snorkel in flamingos.

"Think of it as one less thing to worry about."

Flosshilde- Intended for 'Das Rheingold'

"Have you give any thought to my suggestion about a sculpture that's just a chubby kid constantly peeing."

allovertheplace.com

A fish swimming with an umbrella.

The Scottish Lawn

"Just pick some. No one expects a postcard to reflect your personal aesthetic."

"Great tights!"

When lice dream.

Elephant and Castle

"I'm too old for a baby-sitter. How about hanging a portrait with the eyes that always seem to look at you?"

Frontispiece and Titlepage for Beardsley's Erotic Novel 'Venus and Tannhauser'- Not Used in this Form

"Why are these things always such pathetic kitsch?"