Kitchen Superstar Pillows

Antony Worrall Thompson

Jack of all trades

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Like death by salad.'

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

Party time.

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

Baker Romance

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

'Does this thing get channel four.'

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

The Complete Spaghetti Dinner.

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

Chef copy robot

"I'd like to toast our guests."

'It's all homemade.'

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

"So why do you need a ladder to make pancakes?"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'