Kitchen Gossip Enthusiast Pillows

Frying pan tells other utensils: 'So anyway, the Pot called the Kettle black and that's when it really kicked off ...'

"He's Britains most eligible Spatula."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

Cook and her Maids

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"It'll never be ready in time."

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

"Maybe I haven't suffered enough. Why don't you whip up some of your curried pork balls and refried rice for dinner?"

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

Thank you for the wedding present.

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

'Too much salt!'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

'It was embarrassing. I always swore I'd die of her cooking.'

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

'The doctor said I was ready for solids, but not this solid!'

Whipping Cream

"Life is pointless."

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

"Yes...it may not be the Ritz, Rupert old chum but it's all good home cooked fare!"

"What am I doing? Just cooking dinner with a little whine."

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

"Are you sure its supposed to look like that?"

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'